The Woman and Heart

Once upon a time, there was a young woman who had a heart. She fell in love and Heart swelled with joy and life seemed to be perfect. It was perfect until the day it wasn’t perfect. The young woman picked herself and shattered Heart up and to protect Heart she placed her in a…

Hello Gasoline

We all worry when we meet someone for the first time. Our nerves are ramped up and we question why we are meeting, should we have worn what we wore, and of course will we like one another? One of the worse things that could happen is you meet and have zero chemistry. Then there…

How I am like your cat but better

When your cat is hungry they annoy the piss out of you until you cave. I go from fine to hungry in 30 seconds and have been known to have a toddler level tantrum if I’m not fed. Your cat doesn’t like where you put ________ so they give you a look and you know…

When your abuser dies

One day a few months ago I wondered what I will do when my mother dies. We haven’t spoken in years and at the age of 46, I am still scared of her. Even though I know physically she no longer can harm me I fear her words. Thinking about this has propelled me to…

Sexual Revolutions

My sexuality began as a revolution. I was a young, eager, and experimental lover. I was so desperate to discover my sexual identity I tried lots of different things with lots of different people. I was 20 when I had sex in front of people for the first time. My orgasm was blinding being fueled…

Pale girl walking… but you saw that

This last week my self-assurance took a whattheeverloving fuck hit. I have pretty good self-esteem. Now. That took a lot of therapy and also maturity. I am heavier than I have ever been and only mind slightly. My spouse actually likes the change and I have to keep telling him this is temporary. Knee gets…

Me too but we need some rules

Tonight my husband and I had a discussion that surprised me. For the first time I saw his point of view on men being called to the mat on Hollywood sexual harassment. My argument was that I belived 8 out of 10 women are telling the truth and the rest are just hoping to get…

Friend of the Squirel

Less than a mile from my home is a Quaker church. This particular church was instrumental in the Underground Railroad. The Society of Friends in my opinion are the original hippies. They are pacifists who love everybody. In my 20s I attended several SoF meetings and enjoyed the people and the services even though my…

When Beauty Becomes Weird

  “I would never want to be as shallow as one of those women who get Botox.” She said to me. I get Botox. Yep. A little between the brows for 14 years because I got tired of people asking if I was angry. No one knows unless I tell them because it doesn’t look…

Bulldogs….not the brightest breed

Beamish was a birthday present. We had found out in January that my golden retriever/German shepherd mix Guinness was dying of melanoma. I had the privilege of adopting Guinness my last year of college. When he got cancer the first time I drove him 90 minutes away every 3 weeks for his chemotherapy treatments. He…

The Leaf Nazi and his giant cross

Our neighborhood has lots of trees and during the fall leaf removal becomes an Olympic sport. My neighbors become gladiators toting leaf blowers and rakes or chariots of lawnmowers with bag attachments. It is extremely competitive and these men pride themselves on a leaf free yard. One in particular who I have even witnessed wearing…

Hello, I am Libby

A few years ago I woke from a dream and was left mourning the loss of the people in my dream. Their dynamic wouldn’t leave me. A week passed and I was still haunted by them. I discussed it with a friend and she suggested I write it down. A year passed and I self…