When I was younger I smoked a lot of weed. It was my Xanax. I lived with a mentally and physically abusive parent. When your parent is mentally unstable you may get a belt for asking what’s for dinner or because your sibling didn’t do her chores. My mother kicked me out my senior year because she found out I smoked. I survived. Her. And high school without a home.
In my late 20s when I had more money I began buying weed again. I used it for migraines and cramps. Then I got a job that drug tested me.
On November 8th, 2019 I woke up with horrible pain in my right arm. To understand my level of pain you need to realize that in October I finished a half marathon with an Achilles tear. I thought it was a blister. In 2015 I had my big toe nail taken off without numbing because it wasn’t working. I finally told the doctor “take it off! That needle in my toe again has got to be worse than taking the nail!” It really did hurt less.
This is a level of CONSTANT pain I haven’t known. Like that toe nail though I don’t medicate easily. Pain pills have never done anything for me. Hence why I saw someone steal 20 of them from my bathroom drawer at a party. Those were pills from
my breast reduction 5 years ago. Surgery? I’ve needed extra anesthesia. I woke during my colonoscopy and ankle repair.
So I returned to weed. No need for pills since I’m immune to them. Even if there was a pill I wouldn’t want to be beholden to it. I don’t crave weed. Days I have to work I look forward to the fact in 9 hours I may partake to help my pain. Maybe. Depends on what else I have to do. It’s not something I have to have. It just helps when I am at my rope’s end.
I have more tests coming up in the next few weeks. Still waiting for a few of my blood tests to come back. My prayer is that whatever is happening can be fixed.
I’ve always been open to weed. What I don’t understand is people who condemn weed but wouldn’t blink at picking up a bottle of addictive pills for themselves or loved ones. It’s time to rethink our misconceptions.