My sexuality began as a revolution. I was a young, eager, and experimental lover. I was so desperate to discover my sexual identity I tried lots of different things with lots of different people. I was 20 when I had sex in front of people for the first time. My orgasm was blinding being fueled by keen observers watching me get fucked.
As I matured and had a better grasp of who I am the revolution became more of an evolution. The next time I had sex in front of someone was with a friend who asked me to Domme her while her husband watched. I called her names, pegged her, and slapped her several times as he sat in the corner of their bedroom smoking a cigar. Would I let another woman do that to me? No. Then again I should know better.
To spare myself lots of inbox messages I will refrain from listing things I have come around to that previously I have declared, “I will never do that.” Off the top of my head, I can think of three that were hard limits that now I get wet just thinking of. A lot of my evolution is due to people who I open myself up to, people I trust and trying to keep an open mind when I read or view something that isn’t in my wheelhouse. One thing I have always been stern about was slapping. Where I would punch the hell out of someone if they slapped me there is one person who I would explore it with. I trust them to let me explore that. Because my sexual assault as a child included being restrained I have always been leery of being cuffed or tied. Then I met someone who loved using rope and I wanted to explore that with them. I told them about my hesitations so the first time the rope wasn’t too tight and I easily could have wiggled free. The next time I couldn’t budge and loved it. I felt safe allowing them complete control over my body. Would I give that carte blanche to anyone? Heck no.
When the revolution began I felt one day I would fall into the right bed and all my sexual answers, needs, and wants would be met and solved. The reality is that sex, for me, is an evolution that cannot be completed in one encounter. The right people help the growth continue and flourish. Taking calculated risks with people I trust feeds the progression.
Vive la evolution.